So I always tell people I never watch movies. I actually never remember movies. I’m an excellent audience member, because if I’ve seen a movie before, even many times before, I have no recollection. So I am still surprised at every plot point. I thought I never saw SUPERBAD. I’ve seen it. I watched it last night and as the credits were rolling, I thought, “That is totally how being at the mall works.” I didn’t remember I saw it until the credits were rolling. My husband watched me watch it and he says I gasped at the kids’ struggles. Yeah, I got into McLovin’s journey…twice now.
So to help me in 2015, I’m going to document every movie I watch. Like a tattoo in MEMENTO, I’ll refer back to my blog to remind myself. (Three times. On the edge of my seat each time.)
NURSE – I am actually watching this as I write this blog. It’s too early to say, but it is made to order for me. Crazy female lead, horrible acting, very bloody. Oh and portraying nurses like they shop at Forplay. But…um…so far not hitting my funny bone enough and not hitting my WTF bone enough. But movies like this always ramp up in the last act…
Boop, there it is!
RADIO FREE ALBEMUTH – Philip K Dick is my favorite writer. But I remember novels as badly as movies. I remember being blown away by the novel, but, and I’m just spitballing here, I don’t think this movie is all that much like the book. I’m going to go google it. One sec. Okay, I’m back. Yep, it’s the same plot, but not at all the guts, which is kinda how PKD adaptations go. I’m reading the Exegesis now (it’s taking a while) and since RFA is semi-autobiographical, there is a lot of overlap. I think what makes watching a PKD novel into a movie and having poor memory is that I feel very much like I’m having the same breakdown as his mentally tormented characters. I get blasts of recognition, but I have no idea why. Overall, this movie is only for fans. It’s cheesy effects and mediocre acting would kill the buzz for most. For me, it was fun to recognize the moments and the existential digs the book took me on. The film, sadly, barely kicks a stone, let alone dig into the philosophical quagmire that is PKD’s brain.
SUPERBAD – Part of the Wildman/Walford NYE movie marathon. It’s fun. I felt like a teenager for 90 minutes.
WALK HARD – If I ever wrote comedy, I’d write this comedy. I don’t write comedy because I have no idea how to write this stuff. “I got cut in half real bad.”
FASTER PUSSYCAT! KILL! KILL! – This will shock anyone who knows me. I hate this movie. Slow. Tedious. Bland. John made me.
13 SINS – I take chances on Netflix horror movies and it’s pretty 50/50 on how it goes. I’ll give this one a thumbs up. It was fun. It was done well. It wasn’t mind blowing, but I don’t think the point is ever to make me go “Well, hmmm.” The point is to make me go WTF! OMG! DON’T DO IT!” And I did.
THE STRANGE COLOR OF YOUR BODY’S TEARS – I have no idea what I watched. But I watched every second. That’s a lot of sexy time and blood. I’m sure it has a deeper…er…nope..I have no idea.
SLEEPWALK WITH ME – This movie was quite adorable. I was not expecting that. I would watch that again. And if I were single. I would (in a twisted way) put it on the “date movie” shelf.
ATTACK THE BLOCK – I wanted a “stand up and cheer” movie and this hit the spot. Alien invasion. Unlikely heroes. Right now, I’m using the scene by scene structure and laying it over Joseph Campbell’s monomyth and it fits perfectly. Perfectly. Great flick.
ROADHOUSE – “Pain don’t hurt.”
THE STEPFORD WIVES (original) – Every single woman alive, watch this movie. I forgot how amazing this is. Not in the “I forgot how it ends” way, because it’s one of the movie endings I do remember. but in the “Holy shit, is this a remake to look like the original??” It is a classic feminist statement, with timely points and funny asides. It holds up the test of time so well. Perfection.
WE ARE THE MILLERS – I’ll be honest. I just wanted to see Aniston strip. But hey, I laughed. She stripped in a hilarious Flashdance homage. It was what I ordered.
HOUSEBOUND – Funny, scary. Loved it. Won’t even say more. See it if you like funny and scary.
WE ARE THE BEST – If I had a teenage kid, I would force them to see a double feature of this and SUPERBAD. And then I would be the one squirming from how much I relate to awkward adolescence. to. this. day.