Wow, medical examiners are hot. Male and female. I’m not sure if the tv producers pick them cuz they’re hot or it’s just an unknown fact about morgue workers, but I’m watching this show called “Dead Men Talking” and the threesome cutting this guy open is a sexy little trio in their smocks. And it’s making the scene palatable. The case is a naked man found with his head through a wall.They’re trying to figure out reason of death. Bloody head. Naked old guy.
They find this case unusual, which leads me to believe that most death is quite boring. I mean, he was a drunk who fell down the stairs. Yeah, putting your head through a wall is embarrasing, but not all that shocking. Oooh..wait…the hot, perky blond is using the saw on his skull.
Okay, I’m back.
So, what is our fascination with all this stuff? I mean, I’m fascinated. Why? (Distracted again. Doc is explaning bruising on the brain…wow…hottieeeee..). If you sit in front of your tv for a day, you can see medical examiners with dead bodies, serial killer documentaries, a whole series devoted to women who kill their husbands (“Snapped”), and cold cases. If you haven’t gotten your fill, there’s a ton of fictional shows about the same stuff. We love crime, death, and the people who spend their work week sorting it all out. I would say this stuff takes up about 40% of our television airtime. I mean, think about it, all the CSI shows, all the true crime channels like ID and trutv, horror flicks, thrillers, Dexter, Criminal Minds, Nancy Grace, Locked Up, blah blah blah. It goes on and on and on.
Most of us would not want to do this for a living, I think. I’m taking criminal analysis classes and it’s quickly turned from desire to change fields to just an interest. Why? It’s horrible. You see dead people all day. You see people who look like you in those bloody photos. Or look like a loved one or a friend. It’s not a fun job. And while I guess it’s true you work with some hotties (there he is again! he’s talking cardiac talk! oooohhhh), the job is not half as sexy as the shows portray. I mean, even on this show, you see the highlights….guy falls down stairs and dies, woman has heart attack and dies. It’s not sexy. No mafia hitmen appear. No one says any cool one liners “Guess this guy’s day turned up cold.”
But we watch. We envy their work days. You know why? Cuz most of us work in cubicles staring at numbers all day. We want to think someone out there has a little more excitement…a little more purpose. And we watch these shows waiting for the episode that will show us it’s true. But beyond the editing, beyond the fluff and producer planted red herrings, they have the same jobs we do. Just sitting there in cubicles (or metal rooms) and staring at numbers, pieces of product, and waiting for the clock to turn 5pm.
Although I gotta say, when my time comes, I hope I get those three sexpots figuring out what offed me.