I’ve been cranky for a week. Just sort of unhappy and lost. I didn’t notice it at first, but soon people started asking me if I was okay. And they asked in that way where fear leaked from the corners of their mouth. Fear that I would tell them the truth. Weird enough, the truth was “I don’t know.” I had nothing to complain about. I voted for a man. He won. As a country, we made history. I voted against a prop. It won. So huge win, huge loss. Both though are not over yet. President Elect still has to make change happen. Prop 8 is still being protested.
Everyone else seems to have bounced back from their Super Tuesday hangover. I read Obama’s site, Cooper’s site, and others and everyone seems fine now. Democrats had this hangover for a day and then Obama started running around doing stuff. Yay, we made the right choice! And then they all went to bed. Not me. Maybe I’m too old. I’m still sitting here, staring at the wall, unable to think straight, vomiting dread about our future.
And I lethargic. I get home and turn on the tv and I don’t instantly sit and stare at Olbermann, Matthews, Maddow, Cooper, King, Hannity, Colmes, etc. I still watch. Out of habit. But the news is not as pressing. And everyone’s punches are pulled. There’s no need to be mean on either side now. No need to pick apart every word and every action of these two men (or better said, three men and a woman). So here I am. Watching these tv friends who have grown apart. I’ll admit, it’s fun watching my political crush all giddy about her man. Maddow is plain adorable when she says “President Elect Obana.” But even that is not connecting me.
Not that there’s not political news to watch. The economy is still in the hole. Iraq. Iran. Pakistan. There’s a cabinet to talk about. And a dog. But I have no interest. It’s all white noise as I endeavor to listen to the latest reports.
Like a drinking hangover, I will likely hold my spinning head and hydrate for a while and then go right back to binging. But what will bring me back? What will my trigger be?