Torture Porn…how the french kick our ass

So I love torture porn and gratuitous violence. It must be the Japanese side. And I love foreign torture porn. We seldom get it right. The first Saw got it pretty good. The first Hostel was pretty tight. But overall, there’s something missing in the gore.

Last night I saw Frontiere(s). A French horror movie that I hear rumor couldn’t get an R rating to come over here. Has a pregnant woman and her friends enduring a lot of icky stuff at a rural hostel.

Here’s what’s great about the movie. When someone dies, the other characters respond realistically to the situation. They freak out. They do stupid stuff. They cry. They get weird in the head the more they survive and see/feel whack things. An American movie could have the same story, similar quality actors and production, but screw the whole thing up with one of those goddamn one liners…

Like in Frontiere(s) the pregnant French chick defends herself in a scene. She does what she can and freaks out and cries and goes to the next scene…In a US movie…she’d learn how to shoot a gun by slipping some killer the tongue and then say “Look like I’ll be killing for two..” bang.

Other great pregnant chick stuck with psychos one liners:
“My baby ain’t dying for some sicko.”
“Baby needs a new pair of double barrel rifles.”
“My baby kicks harder than you.”
“Breast feed on this, asshole.”

An American movie would have them all. And she’d likely be making a home video of it as a reminder to herself and a warning to her child. And that would be the basis of the sequel where the baby is somehow traumatized as a fetus and grows up to be a psycho killer…And then HE gets great one liners that always start with “Momma taught me…”

It’s why the first Saw worked. Realistic reactions and words and the real interesting stuff is in that. No one liners.

Anyway, the Japanese and Koreans kick our ass cuz they’re more creative in their gore. The French kick our ass cuz they make characters more true to life. We…well, we have…bigger boobs with our gore. i will give us that. More jiggle in the death scenes….

There’s my rant. Watched Saw II this morning…Moving on to Teeth tonight…


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